Dear Baby,

I went on Amazon early this morning to look up some good teething toys for you. You’re getting there, it’s clear!

I’m a picky shopper who is always looking for the 5 star review. This little gem has a solid score, is super cheap, and is shipped free via Prime.

Turns out it’s not BPA free, so I didn’t buy it. But that’s not the only reason. Every time I look at this, all I see are giant blue fish testicles. I thought for sure I was seeing that only because it was 3a and I was exhausted and loopy. But now, when I looked it up again this morning out of curosity, I still see nothing but giant fish balls.

Little Nubs, apparently your mommy is a 12 year old boy at heart. Even if it were BPA free, I still wouldn’t buy this, because whenever you’d use it I’d be giggling to myself about how you’re gnawing on scaly blue balls.

This is so wrong. Your mommy is an immature idiot.

Love,
Mommy who can’t stop laughing about this toy even though she knows better and it’s really not that funny